there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
