you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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