watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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