That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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