When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
