i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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