Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
