I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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