Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
