Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
