the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
