Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
