is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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