I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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