Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
