I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
