Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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