I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
