Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
