I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
