sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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