I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
