as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
