just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
