he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
