I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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