Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
