Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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