Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize