you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
