so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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