so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
