i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
