physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Damn victory sex feels great
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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