Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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