this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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