she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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