her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
