Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
