I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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