nut hugger
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm passing your future prison.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
