I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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