Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
