You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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