i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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