i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We are all done wearing pants today
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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