some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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