I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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