Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
