let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
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