I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
