Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
