im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
