He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
